On 2015 and Fake NYE Resolutions

Another year is almost over. I have no New Year's Eve plans. How about you? Oh, I could go to a party I suppose, but then I'd feel guilty about leaving G-Money with the in-laws, and I'd feel even more guilty if he spent the night which has been suggested. Why all the guilt? Can't a bitch go out and have some fun for New Year's? The answer my friends, is NO!

So, after the boy goes to sleep tomorrow night, I may imbibe in some wine, catch some Netflix, and call it a night, all before midnight, most likely. It sometimes makes me long for the days of partying half the night away while dodging shaving cream slaps in the face, and then being able to sleep in until noon the following day. Happy New Year!

On to my "resolution." With resolutions in the past, I always knew I was lying to myself, like oh, I'll stop swearing so damn much, or I'm going to give up caffeine...cold turkey. You know, something that seems so simple, but you know you're never going to do it anyway. Well, I think I've come up with a reasonable resolution, or maybe, a "promise to myself." I think by now, you all know I have a passion for writing. If she's so passionate, why hasn't the bitch written anything since that boy has been born? That's an excellent question that you muttered under your breath. Here's the answer: I use the excuse of, I'm so tired chasing after that little stink pot, that at the end of the day, I want to fall into bed with a book, which, honestly, most days I do, or I catch an episode of my stories, mon'.

I did start a second manuscript before G was born, and was half way through it actually, when I decided to shelve that shit. There might be some good meat in there somewhere, but I came to a giant blockade and couldn't go any further. I didn't like where the story was going and I just gave up.

I thought the solution was... start a new project, get new ideas flushed through, that might bring new ideas to the other project. Of course, I misjudged just how tired I would be all the time and decided sleep overruled writing. So... here we are, a year and a half without a word written. Some writer I am. 

What does all this mindless babble mean to you guys? Well, quite frankly, probably nothing, but, I'm making a personal vow to myself that in 2015, I will sit my ass in that chair, whether it's in the middle of the afternoon on a weekend while the boy naps, or after the boy goes to bed at night and get some words on the page. I will follow through with my book of short stories and get it published. Probably not in 2015... let's not get ahead of ourselves here, but it will be done. I did it once, and I certainly don't want to be some single publication sucka.

In closing, it's been a roller coaster year. We mourned the loss of my grandfather, we celebrated G-Money's first birthday, along with several other of his milestones, walking, talking, eating like a man, climbing, and so on and so forth. We sold our first home and bought another one. We've been sick, we've been healthy, we've been stressed, we've been cool as a cucumber. I always like to think the next year will be better than the last, but that's always a crock of shit isn't it? Has anyone ever had a stellar year, the whole year long? You get the same problems, but in a New Year. I'll just be hoping for no major shit going down, and I'll be happy.

Distractions

Needless to say, my mailers have not gone out yet. They are sitting sadly in the corner of my office, just waiting to be send out to their recipients. I've been researching printing prices. Most are outrageous. I can't subject myself to such prices. Mostly, I just can't afford it. I've been looking into cheaper avenues and the only thing I've come up with is buying a new printer (roughly $100 or so) and some glossy paper of my own and just printing out the brochure. Or, editing the brochure into a 1 page flyer and printing it that way. Not to mention, I still need to buy postage, and look into more possible clientele in the surrounding areas.

My lead that I had from a few weeks back seems to be dead, as expected. Though, I must admit, I did get my hopes up a little bit. I don't want to be a pest, but maybe I ought to be?

The manuscript isn't getting much work either. It seems like whenever I sit down to work on it, I always get pulled away from it. I feel like it's never going to be completed or published at this rate, I've already been working on it for close to two years now.

I guess my "real" job is draining my drive and creativity out of me. But I have no choice but to stay here because this is where I get my pitiful amount of money, and this is how I pay the bills right now. Maybe one day I'll finish this manuscript, maybe I'll publish it, maybe it will entertain more than one person, maybe I'll make some money. Wishful thinking?

New Beginnings

Well, I suppose I am going to dedicate this particular blog specifically to my writing. Perhaps it will aid me staying in a writing mindset.

Back in August 2009, I decided I was going to really get on the ball and start my own copy writing business. I've loved writing ever since I was six years old. I'd write silly little short stories and illustrate them with horrible little scribblings, I read constantly, I must have had hundreds of books that I just plowed through throughout my childhood. I continued writing through adolescence, through my teen years, and now into my twenties. It's always something that I've come back to, no matter what situation I've been in, or what job I've held, writing was always lurking in the background, asking to be called upon. So I started thinking... how could I make money doing something I enjoy so much without taking the enjoyment out of it? Then it came to me, perhaps I should try my hand at copy writing. I've already been writing copy in my current job, and dabbling a little in graphic design, and it's something I actually like doing. The best part is, I could work for myself.

However, it's been slow going trying to get my tiny little business off the ground. I currently work full time in an office, and find my energy to promote my own business waning by time I get home at night. I decided to put myself out there to a long list of friends, some of which I've known since grade school and I actually pulled in a lead just the other day.

It's been disheartening at times doing this all by myself. A lot of people don't fully understand what I'm offering. An easy way to look at it is... think of an ad in the newspaper, this ad is selling say an automobile, I'd be the person who wrote the text for said ad essentially. I basically just need to get my name out to the right market. Of course, working during regular business hours doesn't give me much opportunity to search for potential clients, so I've resorted to searching for prospects via websites like: www.linkedin.com. Sadly, I've found no luck there so far.

In the meantime, I'm also trying to let my novel writing passion shine through, just to keep me going. I got the idea for a manuscript about two years ago, and finally started putting it into play a little over a year ago. This has also been slow going because I sometimes let a lot of deterrents come between me and my writing. However, I feel like I've got some real good meat in what I've written so far, and the one outside party that I let read what I've got so far has given me a pretty solid review. I'm trying keep that in mind when I get to thinking that what I'm writing is garbage. I suppose every writer thinks that about their work at least once, if not dozens of times when they're working on a piece.

In any case, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that this one little lead from my childhood might come through, and that I'll finish my manuscript one day in the near future and a publisher will pick it up and send it out into the world. Even if it's just a pipe dream, it's still nice to think about.