On The First EVER Day of School

Dude. I can't even handle the fact that G-Money is prepping for his first day of legit pre-school.

It's been an up hill battle thus far to even get him interested in participating in the system. Up until now, he and I have been homeschooling and learning about things in an unconventional way, you know, so he could like, use his imagination or something.

A few years ago he participated in a small pre-school type program which he hated for at least 5 weeks. He'd cry and tell me he never wanted to go back. Despite the fact that J and Grandma J were in the building, and sometimes in the classroom. Just as I was about to pull him out, he came home and said he actually liked it. Of course, when Fall rolled around again and it came time for him to move up a class (without J and Grandma J) he threw a hairy conniption and refused to step foot in the building ever again. Cool. So, we started with homeschooling, which has actually been pretty neat because every he's learned, he's learned from home.

I'd talk about getting him back into a real pre-school, not just school with Mom and he'd always tell me that he's not going, I can keep homeschooling him. He didn't want to be left alone in a classroom with a bunch of kids and a teacher he didn't know. Now, I can't exactly say that I disagree with him, it's a pretty daunting idea, four years old, being tossed into a place with a bunch of happy strangers, making you do crafts and shit. My own pre-school and kindergarten experiences are less than thrilling. I feel like I could have stayed home until 1st grade and turned out the same way. It definitely didn't leave lasting impression or mold me in any way. I was thinking, maybe, in a preschool atmosphere, he'd come into his own a little bit, maybe feel a bit more comfortable socially, but then I realized, I don't want to force him to open up socially either. Some people (ME) and several others out there in the world are a bit socially anxious. Shit, I'm 34 years old, and if I can dodge a social interaction with strangers, I make like a ghost and slink away.

Of course, all of a sudden within the last month or so, the boy has blossomed like a wild flower. He's talking to everyone. EVERYONE. Mostly about his ducks. First I had two ducks, and then I had four, but now I have five! I also have a cat, Leo, and a dog, Boogie. I have fish too. Oh, my mom drives red Jeep Patriot, and my dad drives a green Jeep Renegade, and my birthday is________, my address is:_____________. Seriously man... I need to carry around a roll of duct tape now to keep this kid from getting us robbed or something. I don't think I have to worry about how he'll do in a social situation at this point.

So... his first day of legit preschool is September 11th. This is a co-op preschool, meaning, the parents, grandparents, care givers, whatever, are heavily involved. They "work" in the classroom once or twice a month, they go on field trips with the kids, like straight up, you're a part of the teaching process. This is a huge comfort to G-Money because J is going to be there in the classroom with him. All of a sudden, he's totally stoked for school. Awesome.

Okay, the boy is four years old. FOUR! There is a laundry list of items that the parents have to bring to orientation to keep the school going. I get that it's a small co-op. We're all a team after all. We're talking about, markers, crayons, copy paper, plates, napkins, hand sanitizer, tissues, baby wipes, etc. They want each family to bring this shit. I'm fairly certain that my parents didn't have to stock my classroom when I was in preschool... of course, that was 30 years ago.  I can only imagine how much worse it's going to get as he gets older. I need a savings account to put the kid through the public school system.

You know what I'm not looking forward to with G's new adventure here? Filthy, disease ridden children coughing their malaria all over him, and him bringing that malaria home. Yes, I realize that malaria is not passed by coughing, it's just a thing we say in our house thanks to the fine film, Superbad. I now expect to be sick from September through May because of nasty little children. Another thing I'm not looking forward to is him making friends. Yes, yes, he's bound to make friends, and that's a good thing. What's not good is the fact that parents have to latch on to their child's social activities because there's so many scum bags in the world. I can't have my kid going over someone's house because their parents might be deviants, and I don't want kids over my house because I don't want to have to talk to them or entertain them. Of course, this is just my selfish introvert side coming out and I must reel it in at least a little bit because G is turning into his mother.

It's a pretty big deal that he's starting school. I can hardly believe it. Soon he'll be bringing chicks home, wanting to get his license, and then graduating high school. I choose to ignore this for now.

On Total and Utter Randomness

I had a couple different topics that I could probably milk and get a couple of blog posts out of, but they seemed so insignificant to merit their own post, except for maybe this news right here:

As some or most of you might know, I am an attempted writer. I do have one fiction book published at the moment, that has remained rather stagnant since its publication in 2011. This year I decided I'd spend a little money and enter it in a couple book festivals, not expecting high results, because, what writer does? My first festival was the San Francisco Beach Book Festival. "Stress Test" did not win any of the grand prizes... however, it did win First Honorable Mention in the General Fiction category. Not such a huge deal to most, but a pretty big deal to me, as its creator who though my first book might very well be utter drivel. This little milestone is quite exciting to me, and almost a week later, I'm still riding the high from it.

This second bit is just a general observation about G-Money. I will preface this by saying, I know my boy is only almost two and things will change for him drastically as he gets older. I brought him over to a school a couple weeks ago to play, his future elementary school actually. One of the many things I like about him is his ability to stand back and observe his surroundings before he dives right in and reacts. There were about a dozen other kids playing while we were there and he cautiously walked up to the playground and kept a safe distance and watched each of the kids doing various things. He stood there for probably about 20 minutes just taking it in. He then started to play on his own, near the other kids, but not trying to play with them. I could see that he was hesitant about engaging them and it brought me back to my own elementary school playground happenings where I'd often times either play alone or with a set group of friends. I was painfully shy throughout all of my school years, and am still very shy, I know how it affected me, and I shudder to think that my sweet boy might take after me in that aspect. On the other hand, I know he's still so young and he may blossom into a social butterfly by time he reaches school. Either way, I just want him to be happy.

This third bit has to do with dating. I was at a bar with some co-workers the other day, having a good time, relaxing, when totally unsolicited a freakishly tall biker man approached me. He asked my name, I told him, he told me his name, he asked if he could hang out (at the bar) with me, I quickly said, I'm married. He was like... "that's okay." Red flag number one. Now, when a woman almost immediately tells a stranger she's married, does that not tell said stranger that she is not interested in talking to him any further? He still persisted. It must have been something about my red nosed, puffy eyed, sick voiced, no make-up personality that really got this guy. Then I was like, look dude, I'm married to this guy's sister (pointing at my co-worker). "Oh, that's even better." Seriously, bro? It took him a minute or two to let it sink in, then he was like, "Oh, so it's like a f**k off kinda thing right?" I stared at him while it set in. You'd think he would of gathered that from the whole, I'm "married" thing. Don't get me wrong, just because I'm married doesn't mean I'll be an asshole and refuse to talk to the opposite sex completely. But, I'm not completely blind, creepy biker man approaches one of only a couple mildly okay looking chicks in a bar asking to hang around after knowing she's married, and to a woman (so he thinks) and won't back down. Man, I can't be a party to that.

See what I'm saying? Three somewhat interesting pieces of information that really do not merit their own post, but it's something to think about. So let me know, any of you have any scum bag stories for me?