On "Mommy Guilt"

Okay, I have to admit, I've fallen prey to the made up moniker of "Mommy Guilt."

Mommy guilt is an equal-opportunity affliction, the experts say — it strikes whether you're 20 or 40, CEO of your home or a Fortune 500 company, living in the big city or on Main Street USA.

If you ask me, it's bullshit. Do daddies feel "Daddy Guilt?" I didn't think I would care about being out of the house so much at work. I thought, ah, distance will make the kid's heart grow fonder, maybe he'll be a perfect little angel during the time we are together... that's a lie, I had no preconceived notions that G-Money would be perfect 100% of the time, though, to his credit, he is awfully sweet, like 97% of the time.

So, "Mommy Guilt" struck me when I started working even more hours at the office, and then I piled more work on top of that. Work, after work, and on the weekends. It's gotten to the point that the boy is so used to me leaving, I put a coat or sweater on and he's like "Bye-Bye Mama," and waving me out the door. I feel like I'm missing out on precious bonding time, time that I won't get back because he will grow and lose interest in his parents and will gain interest in girls. He won't want to hang out with mom and dad, he'll want to hang out with his friends, doing God knows what.

It's all sentimental drivel. Most of all, I feel like in a way, I'm abandoning him by working so much. Though, I know in the long run, maybe he'll be able to be one of those men who don't objectify women and place them in one category or another ie: career bitch, or house bitch. Maybe he'll see that women can be strong working mothers who support their kids and don't have to be just a career bitch or a house bitch, they can do both, or only one, the options are limitless, and hopefully he'll see that one day.

On Working with Morning (All-Day) Sickness

Anyone who tells you that "morning" sickness is only relegated to the morning is full of shit. That might be the case for some people, but for a lot of other ladies, myself included, that shit lasts ALL DAY!

I was lucky enough to feel sick pretty much all day every day for the first 3 months or so. I cursed J and I cursed my unborn son, and I cursed my surging hormones. I spent a lot of time on the couch when I could. I went to bed at 8:00pm and slept for 14 hours. I rested my head on my desk a lot. It sucked.

However, that finally seemed to pass. I felt human again and less like a zombie. It really was true, you do start to feel better and get a little more energy in your second trimester. I only felt sick occasionally, which I could deal with. I stopped plotting to suffocate J in his sleep with a pillow.

Yesterday though, was a real humdinger. I seriously thought I was going to die. I was thinking, great, I'm going to die curled up on my bathroom floor with my cat and dog staring at me. All I wanted was some fresh air and I couldn't even drag myself to a window or a door to stick my head out, but oh shit, I had to go to work.

Normally, if I feel this bad, I might shoot my boss a text asking to come in after my crappiness has passed, and he'd oblige because he's a pretty nice guy. But, he's on a much needed vacation, so I absolutely HAD to work no matter what. I dragged my sorry ass in and plopped down at my desk and hoped for the best. It was a busy day, people stopped in which I had to pretend to be happy to see and not look like death warmed over. My favorite part of the day came when a previous client came in looking for a house for her son just as I was preparing the leave to get a little bit of food to stick in my gob. For some reason, I decided to take her our to few local places, thinking, this will only take half an hour, tops! Boy was I wrong.

Needless to say, I had to suck it up and make like I felt great even though all I truly wanted to do was go home and fall down on my couch with my fur babies and wait for the sickness to pass. And that my friends, is why certain knocked up chicks are bad ass.

Happy Friday.