On "The Last Month"

I'm down to about 2 1/2 weeks until my due date. I've been so busy organizing everything at home and toiling away at the office, that it hasn't really hit me that... I'm going to be someone's actual mother soon.

I've considered myself a "pet mom" ever since Leopold came into our lives nearly 6 years ago. Obviously, being someone's pet mom is totally different than being a human's mom, I mean, I'm going to have to raise this little person to be a respectable member of society. My parrot, cat, and dog can be little assholes for anyone cares.

Speaking of Leopold, I must enter this quick little note. The poor cat has been dealing with a humungo bladder stone since March which has caused him discomfort, made him not feel well, and most importantly added a lot of blood to his urine and made him leak everywhere. Naturally, the vet wanted to dive into removing the stone surgically as that was the quickest and easiest way to relieve him. Now, while I'm all for my little fuzz ball being comfortable and happy all day every day, after everything he went through with his previous urinary surgery, I couldn't justify jumping right to the surgical option. Overall, he was in decent spirits and was doing relatively well, considering. I opted to try a special diet designed to dissolve the stone. My hopes weren't very high that it would work, however, when we went back to the vet a few weeks ago for another x-ray, there was the proof that the stone had gotten considerably smaller! The food was working.

Here we are in June now, and he's doing so much better. He's still on the food, but he's not leaking anymore, and there seems to be no blood in his urine at all. Every day I look at him, I'm glad I went this route and didn't traumatize him with another surgery.

As for this impending kid, I will be thrilled when he is actually here. Simply because, I cannot catch my breath, I'm achy all the time, I get heinous leg cramps, I only have about 5 outfits I can actually wear, sleeping is impossible, I can't do simple things without feeling terribly sore the next day. This being said, I'm still terrified about the actual "birth" part.

Hospitals horrify me. I've never liked them, they've never equated to anything good. Of course, our teacher at the birthing class told us, "you're not coming to the hospital to be a patient, you're coming to bring your child into the world." Sounds like bullshit to me. They're admitting you, slapping a bracelet on you, you're a patient. I'm confident that I'll get through the process itself, I'm not overly worried about the pain, though, don't get me wrong, I'm not looking forward to it. But, as J has reminded me, I've dealt with kidney stones, which is allegedly worse than labor. Well, now I'll be able to tell you all if that's the truth.

I'm down to weekly appointments at the doctor. As of last Thursday, I was still all sealed up. Going again next Monday and then perhaps the following Monday and hopefully this baby comes after that. I certainly don't want him to overstay his welcome. He's been trying to punch his way out for at least a month now.

On Being a Whiny Bit**

Now that I've got about 15 weeks to go carrying this little meatloaf around, I'm starting to feel like I have to hurry up and get some shit done. I know I've got a little bit of time, but I'm suddenly very aware that we need to finish priming and painting the kid's room and restoring the mouldings in the room. We need to buy a crib/changing table, and a little dresser, and put together said furniture. Oh, and don't forget about blinds or curtains, the kid needs some frickin' window coverings!

Granted, the weather being as it is doesn't exactly allow for us to finish priming and painting, and why would we want to go buy and assemble furniture if we have no where to put it? That just adds additional stress feel trapped in our own house like rats in a maze.

The doctors appointments are starting to get closer together, I start going every four weeks instead of five, and soon it will be every three weeks, and then, every week! I've got to go in for the glucose screening at the end of the month, not looking forward to downing their sugar drink and getting prodded with needles on a Saturday. We booked our ALL DAY birthing class for May 11th. I'm not sure if that's going to be informational or if it's going to horrify me. However, I'm definitely not looking forward to spending 7.5 hours at the hospital looking at videos of other chick's crotches.

This morning, as I was laying in bed, I realized it will be no time at all before I tell J that it's time to go to the hospital because we're having a kid. I thought about actually having to deliver the kid and going through the motions, and I put myself into a full blown panic. Needless to say, I couldn't fall back asleep.

Let's not forget that we also need to get the kid on some insurance through J, and we need to find a pediatrician, which I actually intend on asking my regular doctor for a referral.

I'm getting frustrated because I can't button any of my damn pants, and I refuse to buy the overpriced, ugly ass maternity clothes. I'm lucky in that for the most part, my regular clothes still fit... I haven't gained much weight, what I have gained is all belly/baby. I'm definitely looking forward to the weather warming up enough for me to pull out my elastic waist skirts so I don't have to deal with pants anymore.

It's getting tougher to bend over and put my shoes on because well, there's a kid in the way, and when I do bend over a bit too much, it's incredibly uncomfortable, probably for him too. This is where slide on shoes will come in handy down the line.

I know this little gut is only going to get bigger, and I'll get more uncomfortable as time passes, buttoning my pants will be even more of a chore. I might even have to enlist J to help me put my shoes and socks on, provided he's not at work or something.

In the meantime, I suppose I'll just try to pace myself and take into consideration that I still have a little cushion of time to get everything done.