On Vacationing With a Two-Year Old

Have you ever been on a week long vacation with a two year old? Let's just say, mama needed some high grade liquor when the boy conked out. Oh, I kid, I kid. Y'all are going to call me a bitch and hate my guts, but G-Money was pretty exquisite on his first week long vacay. I think it had something to do with Grandma and Papa being there too. I mean, the worst part was on the way up, he got weepy in the car and his tiny little ass wanted out of that damn, dirty car seat. On a side note, I'm convinced car seats are just tiny torture devices for kids. Granted, they're supposed to save them from an untimely death in the event of a crash, but this kids are buckled in seventeen different ways, their heads are surrounded with padding, and they can't even readjust in their seat because they are basically tied down. No wonder he wants out. I'd cry too if I had to spend any amount of time in a seat like that.

The lake and the beach agree with this boy. He spent his time at the lake shore, playing in the sand, sitting in the waves, pushing a paddle board around. He did a little fishing with Grandma, Papa, and Dad. J caught a bass, G touched it and said "Ewww!", watched Dad release said bass and said "Bye Bye Fishie!" He took his first ride on a paddleboat, which he thoroughly enjoyed, though he didn't particularly care for wearing a life vest. The only time I was stressed and having a coronary was when he decided it was appropriate to run on the rickety ass docks with his wagon while not looking where he was going. Which, would have been somewhat okay if the water wasn't pitch black because it immediately dropped off the 40 feet. There were no meltdowns, the boy was just in a great mood for a week straight.

The end of the week approached and while we had one more day at our cabin, we noticed some undesirables moving in. It looked like  Harley Fest meets Deliverance. We decided it might be in our best interest to maybe go home one day early. Mom and Pops took baby G and headed for the hills. J and I went a little further north to spend the night with our homies. One is never too old for a little 'round the campfire debauchery. There's fold up chairs and a pizza slice suit that will never be the same.

Now that the vacation has come and gone, there isn't another one in sight (for myself) until next summer, more than likely. I thought spending a week straight with a toddler in an unknown place might get to be a little "cray cray," but I underestimate the boy. I got to see that he really is the chill person I suspected him to be. He truly is a nature enthusiast. He loves being outside, being at the beach, playing sports. It's just a shame we have nine months of winter here in the Mitten. Maybe it won't be so frigid this year and the boy can be introduced to snow sports.