On Pet Personalities

Pets are interesting creatures. Just when you thought you had them all figured out, they go and do something to totally knock you on your ass.

For instance, I've got a little Chihuahua (Jameson) and a big ol' tomcat (Leopold.) These guys get along great together, and sometimes they duke it out like valiant titans. Leopold will grab Jameson and bathe him, sometimes against his will, but he's never turned away from a free bath.

Yesterday, I had to take Leopold to the vet for a suspected urinary tract infection. Let me preface this by saying, Leopold hates traveling. He doesn't like going in the car, and he certainly isn't interested in getting crammed into a pet carrier to go in the car. However, once J and I corralled him into the carrier, Jameson got visibly upset, like where the hell do you think you're taking my cat?!? He starting whining and pacing and as we walked out the door with the cat in tow, Jameson was standing up in the window watching carefully. I was half expecting to see his little mouth open up in a howl. He was literally concerned for his cat. Or... maybe he was just jealous that the cat was getting to go somewhere and he wasn't.

When Leopold came home a few hours later and slinked out of his carrier, Jameson was on him like flies on shit, sniffing him, and licking him, just giving him a general once over to make sure we brought home his cat. It warmed my sappy little heart to see the dog express such concern over the cat. It made him seem like an actual little person, covered with hair.

One more interesting little anecdote... Jameson came in contact with his first infant on Monday. My new little nephew was over visiting grandma when J and I went over for dinner. J tried to get Jameson to look at the baby, and he seriously wouldn't make eye contact with him, he just kept turning his head. Seems pretty standard, I can't blame him. Later on however, curiosity got the best of him. The kid was sitting in his bouncy seat and Jameson just couldn't help himself, he crept over, tail wagging to try to get a good look at this kid and sniff him out. He didn't try to hurt him or piss on him, he just wanted to know what was going on.

I have to give the little dog props. I thought for sure he'd be a baby hater, but he seemed to do well with his first instance. Hopefully, he'll like the one has to live with in a few months just as much.

On Registering for Baby

Since our baby shower is now impending, and invitations are going out next week, it was probably about time to register for baby boy Dresden's needs.

Let me just tell you... registering for a wedding is much more fun than registering for a baby.

First of all, I have no idea what the hell this child needs. There are so many different options are far as clothes and bottles, teethers, etc. I couldn't tell you the difference in sizes of clothes, I mean, what does 3T mean? Shit, a newbie like me needs a life coach for this sort of thing.

While browsing through onesies and little outfits for the kid, I became infuriated look at what was available to a little man. Everything has zoo animals on it or some stupid ass saying, like "Mommy's co-pilot." Who thinks of this shit? What if I want my boy to wear solid colors?  GOOD LUCK! I did end up caving in an registering for some items with some sort of critter on them. Finding some decent socks for a newborn is damn near impossible. I'm not pushing sports propaganda on my son and I don't want him wearing giraffe prints or zebra prints, or whatever the hell else. I just wanted him to have some simple, white crew socks. NOT AVAILABLE! It's like the baby clothing marketing people are plotting against me and they think babies should just wear nothing but cutesy shit. What if I want my kid to look like a tiny little grown up person? I mean, I'm sure he wants to look respectable out in the world by wearing a solid color onesie and a nice solid pair of pants, not some ridiculous panda outfit.

Another conundrum I ran across was asking for the basic things, like a stroller, car seat, high chair, that sort of thing. I have no idea what's the highest rated and safest, what's garbage and what. Luckily, my sister-in-law did all the heavy lifting on that front since she just had her son last month, so I could straight up copy off her registry. I can't believe how much some of this stuff costs, by the way. I feel guilty even asking for some of this stuff. I don't want my family and friends to think I'm some high falooting bitch asking for this expensive stuff. For example, the stroller I've requested is $300! However, it's like the Optimus Prime of strollers. It's got a car base to strap into your backseat and leave, it's got a detachable car seat which starts out as an infant carrier and morphs into a regular car seat as the kid gets bigger, options galore I tell you. The stroller itself folds up for easy traveling. Well shit! Sign me up.

I'm think I've covered the basics of what I need for this kid. If I should have forgotten something, well, I suppose I can always send my dear husband out to the store to grab it, or maybe leave the kid home with him after a few weeks and get it myself. With about 3 more months to go, I'm totally aware, that I'm going to be some person's parent very, very soon, and it's horrifying. I'm sure it's nothing like being a pet parent. Though when my little Chihuahua was up all night with a fever this past fall, I was up with him, worrying, and trying to comfort him and the second the vet opened I called to get him in there to make sure he'd be okay. I guess you could say my little furry/feather companions have given me some pretty good practice to level up and actually take care of a person.

On Being Pissy

To the outsider, I suppose being knocked up gives you cause to be emotional for whatever reason. Hormones are raging, the body is changing, and so forth. I've been fortunate enough to thus far... not be a weepy little bitch.

However, I have noticed that it really doesn't take much to piss me off lately. It could be something small and insignificant, like a sunny day turning to rain directly after getting a car wash. Or, it could just be the sound of someones voice.

For instance... J and I went to the doctor on Monday for our regular check up. His job is awesome enough to allow him to have paternity leave when the baby comes, but he's got to fill out a few forms for FMLA. Well, we filled them out... mostly, and just needed a signature. My doctor said, "have the nurse sign it." Fair enough, I figured she'd scribble or stamp a signature. No, no, no, nothing is ever that easy, is it? We sat down in her office for at least 20 minutes, burning alive by the way because it felt like 90 degrees in there, listening to her stutter in our faces about how they need to fill out the forms and it's going to cost $10.00 per page, and there's going to be at least a two week wait to fill the forms out. (They were due today by the way.) She wouldn't listen to us about just needing a signature, or the fact that we're not entirely sure about what kind of leave J is going to take. She seemed to think she knew everything about his job, when in fact, she didn't know shit.

I'm sure my blood pressure rose the longer we sat there. Just listening to her stuttering face was driving me crazy. I know, I know, it's insensitive to be judgemental of someone with a stutter. I know it's not her fault, but it was pissing me off.

Today, all it took was for me to hear the sound of a certain person's voice (and no, I'm not speaking of my dear husband.) There's just certain people you don't want to be around under normal circumstances, and it seems like now that I'm getting even more pregnant, something very little can just set me off. It's pretty bad when I visualize myself choking people out.

In conclusion, now more than ever, I don't believe those chicks that say pregnancy is beautiful, and such a glorious experience. Those broads must have been in deep seclusion and didn't have to deal with ass hats on the daily. They must have never felt extreme "morning" sickness, or had cat shit smelling gas, or had terrible, terrible stomach and back pain from not being able to drop a deuce thanks to prenatal vitamins. Pregnancy is disgusting, and I'll let you know that. Birthing the child will probably be even more disgusting. However, on the lighter side, I'll say, the final outcome of having a mini J and I running around will be pretty cool, provided he's not a little ass hat.

On Being a Whiny Bit**

Now that I've got about 15 weeks to go carrying this little meatloaf around, I'm starting to feel like I have to hurry up and get some shit done. I know I've got a little bit of time, but I'm suddenly very aware that we need to finish priming and painting the kid's room and restoring the mouldings in the room. We need to buy a crib/changing table, and a little dresser, and put together said furniture. Oh, and don't forget about blinds or curtains, the kid needs some frickin' window coverings!

Granted, the weather being as it is doesn't exactly allow for us to finish priming and painting, and why would we want to go buy and assemble furniture if we have no where to put it? That just adds additional stress feel trapped in our own house like rats in a maze.

The doctors appointments are starting to get closer together, I start going every four weeks instead of five, and soon it will be every three weeks, and then, every week! I've got to go in for the glucose screening at the end of the month, not looking forward to downing their sugar drink and getting prodded with needles on a Saturday. We booked our ALL DAY birthing class for May 11th. I'm not sure if that's going to be informational or if it's going to horrify me. However, I'm definitely not looking forward to spending 7.5 hours at the hospital looking at videos of other chick's crotches.

This morning, as I was laying in bed, I realized it will be no time at all before I tell J that it's time to go to the hospital because we're having a kid. I thought about actually having to deliver the kid and going through the motions, and I put myself into a full blown panic. Needless to say, I couldn't fall back asleep.

Let's not forget that we also need to get the kid on some insurance through J, and we need to find a pediatrician, which I actually intend on asking my regular doctor for a referral.

I'm getting frustrated because I can't button any of my damn pants, and I refuse to buy the overpriced, ugly ass maternity clothes. I'm lucky in that for the most part, my regular clothes still fit... I haven't gained much weight, what I have gained is all belly/baby. I'm definitely looking forward to the weather warming up enough for me to pull out my elastic waist skirts so I don't have to deal with pants anymore.

It's getting tougher to bend over and put my shoes on because well, there's a kid in the way, and when I do bend over a bit too much, it's incredibly uncomfortable, probably for him too. This is where slide on shoes will come in handy down the line.

I know this little gut is only going to get bigger, and I'll get more uncomfortable as time passes, buttoning my pants will be even more of a chore. I might even have to enlist J to help me put my shoes and socks on, provided he's not at work or something.

In the meantime, I suppose I'll just try to pace myself and take into consideration that I still have a little cushion of time to get everything done.

On Being Cheap

Since I only make so much money to get by, and since I've got the little one on the way in addition to the three fur/feather babies to support, I'm a bit stingy with my money.

We're going back to the great debate of smart phone vs. regular phone here today. Over the weekend, I received a post card in the mail with three recommendations of smart phones for me. The tag line was: "People with your phone often update to one of these three phones and love them." Two out of three of them were offered for free, the other one was $50.00. The only reason I was even entertaining the idea of checking out the "smart phone deals" was for the GPS. I thought, I'll be green by no longer printing maps for work, I'll have turn by turn directions on my phone and I can track my mileage!

I went in to the store and dealt with a variably spacey young lady, though she was polite. They didn't have the $50.00 phone advertised on the postcard, but they did have a phone for $150.00 with a $50.00 rebate. Hot damn! What a deal! I asked how much my monthly bill would go up with a new smart phone plan, about $40.00 extra dollars, bringing my monthly bill up to somewhere around $90.00.

Bullshit! I couldn't justify it. I slinked out the door empty handed overwrought with the thought of paying $90.00 a month for a phone!

The other side of cheapness came through when thinking about purchasing a new sofa for the living room. There are several factors to take into consideration when shopping for furniture. We have to test the fabric to see how "snag worthy" it is. Little cat claws would tear up certain fabrics. Leather is out of the question due to dog and cat claws and a parrot that loves to eat furniture. Our options were sort of limited. Especially since we were looking specifically for a sectional. Something cozy, that wasn't too big to fit in our little living room.

We went to the standards, Art Van, and Gardner White. Neither place had anything we really fell in love with and they seemed drastically over priced. Or maybe we were just cheap assholes. Yesterday, we passed by Big Lots of all places who advertised a "20% Today Only!" sale. We thought... what the hell, why not check it out? We found something we both liked almost immediately and decided the cat wouldn't snag it, it wouldn't get scratched by little feet, and most of all, it's comfortable. Most importantly, it was about $1,400.00 less than anything else we were looking at. Yes, we bought a sectional at Big Lots, it's a name brand, and it looks good, I'm not ashamed. I'm just excited to spread out on that thing later tonight.