On Aging

Yesterday my mother turned 65. She wasn't overly thrilled about it, to say the least. When my father turned 65 last year, I made him a disaster of a birthday cake from scratch. It tasted like a sponge, with thin chocolate sauce (that was supposed to be frosting) dripped over it. It was ugly, it had no taste, but he ate it anyway because he's a champ. He just ate it with a bowl of ice cream.

Tomorrow, I'll be preparing a birthday breakfast feast for the parents. I'm thinking pancakes, eggs, English muffins, mimosas, (veg)bacon, (veg)sausage, etc. I can cook a mean breakfast (I think) so at least it wouldn't be a total disaster (hopefully.)

It's strange watching my parents get older, and unfortunately, imminent. It seems like just yesterday they were younger, I was younger. Time seems to be flying by entirely too quickly.

While I didn't get along too well with my parents in my formative teen years, and really, what teenager gets along fully with their parents at that age? I certainly carry on with them quite well now, and love them very much. So it warms me to be able to do something special for them every now and then because they did so much for me growing up.

On Laughter

Another successful dinner with the dinner club last night. It was my turn to host. I made fettuccine Alfredo (homemade sauce), green beans with sunflower seeds with a garlic and red pepper seasoning, and baby corn with an onion seasoning. It turned out quite well. Everyone had at least two plates. It warmed my heart to see my friends enjoying something I had made. Especially since I'm not that great in the kitchen.

There was a plentiful supply of wine. We polished off a gallon... and then a bottle and half, it was nearly obscene. We sat around the living room belting out Christmas tunes and playing a silly board game, laughing hysterically. It's truly what friendship and the season is about.

Tonight my husband and I are hosting a Winter Solstice Party. At least thirty people, if not more will be here. There will be a bonfire out back for the brave ones who are willing to hang out in weather which is only in the "teens." Of course, we've got the basement set up quite nicely as well. Tables, chairs, games, dim lights. I think it will be a semi-epic party.

Alas, I'm already exhausted from shopping earlier today, and maybe from the inordinate amount of wine I consumed last night. Though, I am looking forward to having some fun nonetheless.

On Friendship

A few weeks back, some friends of mine and I decided having a meal date would be a good idea. We had talked about it before of course, but it never happened. Welcome to our second dinner date. Our plan is to rotate hosts with a different type of meal each time, ie: breakfast, lunch, dinner. The first week was breakfast, consisting of quiche, toast, hash browns, fruit, and of course... screwdrivers. It was a great success. Lunch last night consisted of cheese & broccoli soup, sandwich roll ups, cheesy bread, an assortment of desserts, and of course plentiful wine.

It will be my turn to host in a couple of weeks, and I must say I'm thrilled that we're keeping up with this so far. Of course, it's still new and fun, we might bore of it quickly, but it feels so... grown up. Plus it's a wonderful excuse to get together with close friends and share a meal and laughter. Laughter lightens the heaviest of hearts. At this juncture in my life, I'm feeling particularly grateful.

On Completion

4/18/2008 - 11/30/2010

I can now happily say that I finished the first draft of my manuscript. After nearly ten years of scribbling random stories, starting manuscripts only to let them sit unfinished, I actually saw this one through to the end. Of course, there's still so much work left to do, starting with editing and re-writes. It feels amazing to be finished and now I can jump fully into the Christmas season without wondering when I'll set some time aside to finish the book. I'm hoping the editing and re-writes will only take through most of the winter, and maybe I can move on to the next step by spring.

A huge milestone, and I couldn't be more ecstatic.

On Family Dinner

It might not look that impressive within a photo, but Thanksgiving dinner at my in-law's house is really a sight to behold. One big table, twenty people, the whole table filled with food, wine flowing like water. Don't forget the traditional after dinner walk which most of the group partakes in. A horde of overstuffed folks shuffling down the street to settle their dinner. Last night it was drizzling just a bit, but that didn't stop us, even a couple dogs came along for the walk. There's always homemade pies for dessert, which usually sit untouched until the next day since everyone is so full. The laughter and the banter at the dinner table is my ultimate favorite. The best part is, I also get to share this huge dinner with my parents and brother. I'm truly lucky that our families get along so well.

As we're nearing the end of the year, I can say quite frankly, that this year sucked it big time but I am thankful for a few things nonetheless, and they are as follows:

• My family, and the family I married in to.
• The few very good friends who are there no matter what.
  For the job that I loathe because it puts food on the table, clothes on my back, and a roof over my head.
• The little personal victories such as my grandfather recovering from some pretty serious ailments, my father in law who had us all nervous for about a month pulling through his ailments, my nephew who was very sick a few weeks ago coming out to be fine, and my cat who was super sick at the beginning of the year pulling through and continuing to make this house happy.
• My pets who enrich my life every day and who for the most part, get along with each other, and find some way to make me laugh each day.
• I'm glad I've had the perseverance to finally see a manuscript through to the end. Three years in the making, and it's finally getting wrapped up.

I can now look forward to Christmas, more family time, parties, the Christmas tree, presents underneath it, my dog and cat sleeping peacefully together under said tree, snowflakes, sledding, snowboarding, you name it. New Year's Eve, which still feels magical, like we're starting on a fresh slate, hopes that the next year will be better than the prior, but who knows? Of course, once New Year's is over, I'll be waiting impatiently for spring. That's how it is.

On Thanksgiving / Birthdays

Not technically Thanksgiving yet of course, but what I'm mainly looking forward to is having four days off from work. I have absolutely no intention of participating in that Black Friday shopping business, just not my style. I'll more than likely... if things go well finish my manuscript this weekend! I worked on it for three hours last night after work and got just over 1,400 words in. The story is slowly wrapping up, going in the complete opposite direction that I had thought of merely weeks ago. It's rather exciting.

So for Turkey Day, I'm heading over to my in-law's house, which has been the case every year, eighth year in a row I believe. The best part of it is, my parents and brother get to come too since everyone gets along, huge bonus, so I don't have to split my time and eat two Thanksgiving dinners. They always have one huge table and it's utterly filled to the brim with food, every year. It's really a sight to see.

Tomorrow is also my husband's 30th birthday. It's a bigger birthday, and he's getting spoiled a little bit, plus he gets the bonus of Turkey on his big day, not to mention, that he doesn't have to work, so that's also a winning factor.

Tonight I'll be stopping at the pet store for some viddles for my fur babies, baking after that, and it's the request of said birthday boy that I go out with him and his friends for his birthday this evening. I've never been one to go out on this night, but feeling obligated since it's for his birthday. Sheesh, it's going to be a long night.

On Control

The office is dead today. Both owners out of town. I'm left in charge. It's unnerving, it's disquieting, it's overwhelming. Does that mean I'm capable? It's hard being the "go-to" person when one doesn't want to be. I never asked to be. I didn't sign up for it. I didn't volunteer. I do the best job I can, and usually what I'm rewarded with is more work. Luckily as I've said, the day has been pretty quiet. However, two clients are wanting to submit an offer on a house over the weekend, and I'm feeling obligated to make myself available, even though technically it's not my bag. I'm hoping to slink quietly out of the office, free from that worry for 48 hours.

I'm glad that the day is slow because for the past two days I had the overwhelming charge of doing my job, training the new front desk manager, and doing the accounting work. I can usually hold my own, but it just seemed to be overly busy and I was feeling like I was going to jump out of my skin.

On a side note, I should be able to get some writing in this weekend. I might even finish the manuscript. Now wouldn't that be novel?

On Training

Today marks the first day of yet another new employee at the office. So far, she seems like she won't need much training as she's already been involved with real estate and office environments and multi-tasking. I'm keeping my fingers crossed anyway.

I've got the sinking feeling that no matter how much I try to train her my own way, I'm going to be hawk eyed over, and interrupted without fail. It's going to drive me up the wall, it's going to drive me to drink, it's going to make my blood boil, it's going to make me clutch my hands into claws and hold them back from reaching out for someone's neck. I've only got this sinking feeling because this is exactly what happened four months ago when I was training the last new person to walk in here. I only hope this one lasts because she seems perfect... on paper.

In writing news, as I've probably stated at least twice in here, I'm nearly finished with the novel. So incredibly close that I might finish it this month if I keep working steadily. However, I didn't work on it at all the last two days. I've just been in a funk, and writing was the furthest thing from my mind unfortunately. I'm almost scared to finish it and send my baby out into the world, it's nerve racking! What if it sucks? What if no one wants to read it? What if it's not entertaining enough for someone to want to even finish it if they start reading in the first place? The final scene is about to play out, and I'm one pins and needles.

On Contemplation

Since I'm circling the drain towards the end of the manuscript, I've been thinking about the work that needs to be completed once I finish the first draft, such as re-reading, editing, re-writing here and there. I was driving home from work last night and I was behind a particularly random car, extremely neutral, and I thought that would be the perfect car for one of my antagonists to be driving. I had mentioned a make and model earlier in the book and described it as a P.O.S., but I didn't really feel like it was that junky of a car, but this one I was behind yesterday seemed to be the perfect fit. It feels great to have "ah-ha" moments like that, when everything seems to be fitting right into place.

When I started this project (three years ago... whew) I felt like this work was going to be amazing, funny, great, but now that I'm getting toward the end, I'm fearing as the story continues, it turns a bit to the mediocre. I've let a few people read the first part of the book and they laughed, were entertained, and it warmed my heart, making someone laugh is an amazing feeling.

However, on the bright side, I'm already looking forward to my next project, hoping I'll feel even better about it.

On Relief

For weeks I've been stumped on how to finish the manuscript. When I started this thing out, I knew exactly what was going to happen, how it was going to end. However, once I got into the meat and potatoes of it, the story completely changed, went in another direction, then I got to a point where the original ending just wouldn't work anymore.

Last night I had something of an epiphany. I was sitting at the computer, zoning out, and the ending came to me! It needs some polishing of course, but I've finally got the general premise of how it's going to end, it feels somewhat perfect. This dark, ominous cloud was looming over my head for the past couple of months, a sense of hopelessness that I wouldn't be able to finish this thing after all this time. The end is in sight now, three years of work will finally be completed. I'm still holding tight to my goal of completing this thing by 12/31, and I know I will do it.